and.... he's 4

today was Peyton's first day of 4s pre-school and i thought since we went through this last year it wouldnt be as hard (for me) this year to send him off on his first day.... but it really wasn't any easier, although i was excited for Peyton.

we had a nice breakfast, got dressed and then he waited patiently with his backpack on the couch.

i can't believe how much he has grown from last year. he loves standing on 'his stage' for pictures. i also love how Jayden wanted to be in the pictures with his big brother.then we finally headed out the door.... with my heart breaking once again, and knowing that next year i will be sending both of them off.we got to preschool a little early so i could walk him into his classroom. Peyton was very excited and loved seeing all of his friends.and obviously getting tired of all the pictures i was taking.look at his smile.... no expression whatsoever! (this is what i get for trying to 'freeze time' with my camera).i finally told him we could go inside.... and off he went,my big boy.
'come on Mommy!' he found his cubby, and put his folder in the folder bin. when did he become a pro at this?then went into his classroom. Mrs. Georgie had stations set up at each table.separating teddy bears into their colors.already so busy. time to meet new friends.... and time to say goodbye.
he waved to me, then ran to give me a big hug and said 'i love you Mommy'.
(thank you Peyton. i needed a hug from you today).

i was feeling pretty good, not sad at all, so i was thinking i would be able to hold it together after i walked Peyton to his classroom.... but i didnt. as soon as i walked out i felt the tears coming, and they continued the whole way home. i am looking forward to long weekends and holidays now. i hope it's normal to feel this way. i love having my babies home with me, but i also understand the importance of sending them off, to let them grow, to learn new things, and to make friends. so until its time to pick him up from school.... i will be watching the clock and hoping he's having fun.