coming home

the doctor told us to keep you by windows in sunlight. it will help keep your numbers down and get out all of the jaundice. our new house has lots of windows. this is where you will spend lots of time. with me right by you of course.
youre ours. i love you. welcome home.


Peyton stays right by your side as well.






finally, time to go home.


nicu called this morning & said we could come get you! i was so excited! i called everyone. yay our baby is coming home! these are the LAST pictures we took in the hospital.

you have such a bad diaper rash. the nurses put a little tube of air blowing on your bottom. you laid and slept with it like this all day.
they told me your diaper rash was so bad because of all of the pooping you did. we fed you so much you kept pooping and pooping. it helped get the jaundice out of your system. you would go through SO much formula. which was a good thing. the nurses were impressed with how much you could eat.

dressed up and ready to go home, finally!

our family, finally together.

empty

i had to come home without my baby. he's still in nicu for blood complications. he is doing better than he was a few days ago. i know they are taking good care of him there. it's not right to come home without your baby. it's empty and weird. i want to go get him.

this picture is when peyton visited jayden in the hospital. jayden got to be with me in my room that day. we couldn't pick him up. i looked at him all day.

waiting

we are still waiting for your numbers to go down. you had a shot. i am not sure what it is. i need to look at my papers. i have been writing it all down. whatever the shot is, it has 10 people's something in it. i hate that. i don't want you to have to get help from donors. but if that is what makes you better then i don't care. your numbers go down and we get excited, then they go up again and i cry. daddy is at home with peyton. they can't wait for you to go home. your room is ready. and the bassinet is next to my side of the bed. we want you home baby. i miss you and your just down the hall. under those lights. youre such a good baby. you sleep all the time. i don't like some of the newborn nurses. i don't think they are qualified for working with a baby in your condition. the nicu nurses are great. they keep checking on you and so does the head nicu doctor. i love her. she comes and talks to me in the mornings. i wait in my room. i watch the clock, every three hours i get to feed you. they don't let me pick you up much. i have to feed you while you are laying down. so sad, but whatever works and gets you home. i will stay in the hospital as long as i can. i want to be with you even if it's just a few minutes at a time.

youre the biggest one in the nicu though. 7lbs! your the big boy in town. i love you jayden. i'm sorry my blood made you so sick.

nicu

we found out today that Jayden's blood count numbers are high. they are trying to get them down with bililights. we aren't allowed to hold him. he is in the nicu. i have cried so much and i am so worried. we all are. but he's here and we are so glad.

please get better little baby. i love you and want to take you home.